Headline News: G.DAMN IT Complicated Guy kissed a girl and he liked it…
It was one of those hang-low type weekends where you don’t really want to do anything, but you kind of want to do something at the same time. (You know what I mean.)
Earlier on Friday:
Friday afternoon I finished work and arrived home at 6 0 clock, did laundry, and by 9 decided I needed to go out and do something. Most of my girlfriends had other plans, so I called Complicated Guy to see what he was up to. And even he had plans! He and his friend were on there way to a bar in German Town. He said, “I’ll call you later when I head back to your side of town.” “Ah, allright.”
After I hung up with him, one of my girlfriends called me back. We both laughed at the fact that when I asked her, “What are you doing.” She answered, “Nothing really, just folding laundry.” I said “Really? Me too.” Then I said, “How about we go have a drink?” She said, “Ya lets go out, its Friday night and we’re seriously both folding laundry?”
Friday Night and hitting the Town with my Girl:
Well, about and hour later my girlfriend and I arrived at the bar, had a couple drinks and guess who calls, Complicated Guy. When I asked him what he was doing he said, ” I just got back to my house, I’m folding laundry now.” (I guess Friday was a folding laundry kind of night?) I told him we were at the bar, “If you like, you could come join us?” He said, “Ya that sounds fun, I’ll be over in a few.” I answered, “Great!” I was so excited to see him and for my girlfriend to meet him.
Two Girls Alone at the Bar:
Complicated Guy came in shortly after, while my girl friend and I were the only ones sitting at the bar. I was helping my her write lyrics to her song, (I know how cliche, writing a song at the bar) when Complicated Guy greeted us then sat down. Before long he was helping us finish the lyrics to my friends song. As we finished the last line in the song we began conversing about our favorite bands, wines, college parties, classes, and graduation. We talked for awhile and then realized it was last call and the bar tender was closing up shop.
Complicated Guy walked my friend and I to my car and I drove her home. In the car I asked her, “What do you think about Complicated Guy?” She paused and said, “I don’t know. He’s allright. Something about him irritated me.” I said, “Really?” She smiled and said, “Ya, the way he phrased his words, I could tell he was nervous or insecure or something.” I replied, “Interesting. When I first met him I never picked up on that.” She answered, “Well, I am a very insightful person. I could also see how you connect though. You know each other well.” “That is true,” I said.
Driving home-I HAVE TO GO PEE!!!:
I call Complicated Guy on the way home to tell him I had a nice time. Then I said, “I am passing by your place right now and I really have to go pee!” He said, Okay, I’ll open the door for you.” (Okay, I really did have to go pee, but I also just wanted to see him and really talk.) I run inside, go pee, and stood in his kitchen as he poured me a glass of water. He said,” I really didn’t expect you to come by, I thought you’d just head back to your place.” I said, “Ya, I was, but I had to go pee and I wanted to see how you were doing.” We talked for awhile and as time kept passing I became tired and we fell asleep.
Saturday was a Lazy Day:
First it was the weather, cloudy with a lot of drizzle. And second, it was Saturday. We relaxed all morning and afternoon. Talking and cuddling. About 3 o clock I was feeling chocolate pancakes so we hit up the local diner. After breakfast we met up with two of my good friends and hung out with them for a few hours. Later, when I asked Complicated Guy, “What are you doing tonight?” He said, “I may go to a party with my friends.” (So I definitely wasn’t invited? And I got the feeling he did NOT want me to come.)
There are two sides to this, 1) I spent time with him all day, he planned to go to a party. This is not a big deal, I could call my girl friends and hang out with them. 2) It was already kind of late, he should just spend the rest of the evening with me. After all, he went out with his friends last night.
Make a Decision!:
Complicated Guy felt like going to this party and spending time with me. After 40 minutes of this back and forth. I made up his mind for him. I said, “Go to the party, I am going home.” I went home and called a few girlfriends and we watched Country Strong. We had a good time!
While watching the movie with my girlfriends I texted Complicated Guy. He apologized for ditching me to go to a party and explained, “I graduate in two weeks, I want to hang with my friends as much as I can.” Part of me cared and wanted to go to the party, (show up with my girlfriends and crash that M**** F***** Party YA!) But the other part of me just wanted to spend time with my friends and didn’t care.
Where in the World did Complicated Guy go the rest of Saturday Night?:
I did not hear from Complicated Guy the rest of the night, or the next day. I texted him mid afternoon and he responded, “Finishing a project, I’ll call you later.” He calls me around 8 o clock and we decided to get pizza and a movie. While watching the movie he confesses.
Shwasted Last Night, I Kissed a Girl:
Here’s the part I hate the most.
There were no words, but only tears shed. I couldn’t believe it. I felt like he cheated on me. I felt betrayed. It was earlier that Saturday we spent the entire day together. What happened to the good moments of the day? Ruined.
Could I really be Mad?
But, could I really be mad? Here’s the complicated part, Complicated Guy and I aren’t officially dating. If anything, he is my best friend. Besides, aren’t I the one that is writing a blog entitled, ? Dates from Frog to my Prince Charming? And aren’t I the one who has been on multiple dates with three different guys?
The Feeling is Mutual:
I uncomfortably discovered, Complicated Guy and I feel the same way. He even said, “I’m sorry I hurt you, I’m sorry, but I wanted to feel desired, to feel like another girl wanted me.” (He has his issues and I have mine) But, isn’t that what I want too? I don’t want to feel stuck, like he is the only guy I have, who want to kind of be with me. I am looking for something and someone else too.
The Hardest Thing that I can’t deny-Unconditional Love:
I am unconditional in love with Complicated Guy. I want to help him and I don’t care if I get burned in the process. He can do anything to me, and yet I will not turn my back on him. He is my Complicated Guy and him kissing another girl does hurt, makes me angry and hate him, but I will not turn on him or stop believing that he is good. No, I don’t know what I got myself into, I don’t know what the future holds, and yes, it is unhealthy.